Ahem

You in the office near mine - its been going on for a long time. I'm sure at this point its a nervous habit since you've been doing it regularly since your first day here. But, if you continue to clear your throat ever 3-7 seconds, at times stretching it out to 5 or more seconds (arrrgchhhhh) I will tend to my last resort. I will dial 911. I will claim there is a 4-alarm fire. I will commandeer the hook and ladder truck. I will use, under full pressure the fire hose to soothe whatever "scratchyness" you are experiencing.

Please. I'm begging you. Just stop.

Or take a lozenge.

Now who's Mr. Patience?