Hang it Up?

Softball begins tomorrow night. I think for the first time in my life I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest. I know they're going to want me to play outfield and, frankly, my old bones and muscles can't do it anymore. Yet, I seem to be the best option they have.

My mind still harkens back to playing tournament level games where I wasn't sure I belonged and marveled at the talent levels of those around me. In retrospect, I must have belonged because I was asked to play by the team owners and its not like they didn't have choices. For the most part I played quite well. I've also played for many local, talented teams who've gone on to the championship.

Now I'm jaded. I sit and marvel at the inablility of my teamates and their general lack of baseball knowledge as a whole. I've tried ahrd and adapted a bit over the years and try to make it more fun than competitive yet I'm getting to the point where I don't feel I can be competitive. I even fear embarrassing myself out there.

I know I can't do what I could or really even come close to it. I really want to be the guy the team can depend on and I feel I have been to this point. But I'm not sure I can be in the future. Hell, I was sore after practicing with my daughter on Sunday. Practicing!

I'll be 45 this year. I've said it before but have yet to follow through on it, but I think after this year I'm done.