$4 for a Smile

Last week, as I was exiting the city during rush hour and lamenting the fact that when the light turned green it meant I moved only two car lengths, I spotted a cardboard sign. In proper block lettering it said "Homeless. Please help." The woman holding it was perhaps thirty. She could have easily passed as a regular thirty-year-old dressed in a hoodie, jeans and tan workboots. She didn't look dirty, whorey or strung out. In fact, she didn't look like a street person at all.

I quickly did some green light-red light calculations and realized I would probably stop right where she was standing during the next cycle so I glanced down to my dash console where I frequently keep some cash, if not some change. I found $4 and grabbed it and proceeded to fold it neatly. As I approached her I rolled down the window of my 72 degree, climate- controlled luxury car and handed it to her with a smile and said, "Good luck to you." She responded with a sincere "God bless you" and eased back into her position on the sidewalk.

This particular evening was to be the coldest of the year so far. The forecast was for lows in the 18 to 22 degree range and as darkness fell, it was already quite chilly. Perhaps there was as shelter where she would be able to stay. Perhaps she wasn't that bad off and was playing me. Perhaps, though, neither were true.

I'm not trying to sound like I'm some saint and tooting my own horn, but it really is easy to give a few bucks. I piss away money nearly every day on something I can absolutely do without. Maybe that four bucks kept her from getting kicked out of a Dunkin' Donuts or a McDonald's that night allowing her one more night where she didn't die of hypothermia, or get raped or murdered. Maybe she combined it with some other donations to get her belly full, or take a bus to some family. Maybe she drank or smoked it Cynics would tell you that's what they'd do, so why bother? They'll just smoke it or drink it. I guess I'm more optimistic than that.

When you buy a lottery ticket, you're not really expecting to win are you? You're actually buying a dream. You're buying the chance to talk with family or co-workers what you'd do with $50 million, aren't you? The things you'd buy, the people you'd take care of. When you give someone down and out a few bucks, aren't you really just buying yourself the same dream, but on a smaller scale? Maybe, just maybe, my money made a difference, if even for one night. I have no doubt those of you in blog-world are a generous sort. I read about generous spirit and heart nearly every day here. So, I'm sure you all know from which I speak.

When we drive our nice car in our leather seats to our warm homes and our soft couches and plasma televisions, do we feel entitled to it, or lucky for it, or both? We eat our hot steak with our steamed veggies and drink our fresh ice cold fresh milk and we've earned it. We've finished school, perhaps went to college and became good employees through drive and determination. We've worked hard for what we have and no one can say we're not entitled to it. I'm surely not living an altruistic existence as I certainly like my creature comforts but so many of of us are only a few paychecks away from the street. An illness, a layoff, the housing market and mortgage crunch could all impact any one of us quicker than we could fathom. Then what? Impose on family? Maybe not all of us have that support structure. I'm lucky. I do.

However, one of my brother's was homeless for a variety of reasons. At some point, family could do no more to help and he took to the streets, collecting cans to get by. Thankfully, after some time, he sought assistance with The Salvation Army and they helped him get his shit together. Eventually, he moved on with his life to the point where you'd never know his past based on his successes today. He's now a married homeowner and landlord with a steady and successful career. I will be eternally grateful for the good work The Salvation Army did and do and show it by never passing the bucket and bell without reaching in my pocket, just as you all do. And I thank you. Because you helped my family stay whole and you can be proud that you decided a few bucks, or coins, could make a difference. On a personal level, it did. Probably to the point of saving a life. Again, thank you.

That person with a cardboard sign is somebody's sister and daughter and friend. That young woman was once somebody's little girl and I can't imagine my little girl ever getting to the point this young woman was. But if she did, I would hope someone could roll down a window and place a buck or two into her cold hands. Hopefully, someone out there loves her and through continued generosity, they can be reunited in the future and she can right her ship. Could I do more? I suppose I could. But I tried in a small way.

But for luck, DNA or sanity go any one of us to homeless, no? Trust me, $4 brought a smile to my face more than that large Starbucks Mocha Latte ever would.