Family!

Yesterday, we hosted a get-together for our son's 1st birthday. It was around 24 people or so and I enjoy hosting, usually.

But let me tell you about my brother's family: yeah the one that ran out of food on Thanksgiving! His wife and his 22-year old son are just friggin' weird. There's no nice way to put it. The kid does not in the slightest grasp social nuances or graces. And his mother's semi-superior attitude has worn me to the bone.

Of course, this is after a history of "issues" with them, so as I tell this tale, bear in mind its not the first such thing.

What was originally an outdoor party became an indoor one because it got cool outside. Lasagna was the main meal and there was a lot of it so it was taking a bit longer to re-heat than expected. The masses were hungry, so I couldn't blame them for being a bit anxious to eat. However, the family I mentioned above all camped out in my 9 x 14 kitchen, getting completely underfoot and doing nothing to expedite things. When the lasagna was close, we set out bread and salad, etc. on the "buffet" table in the adjoining dining room. The son, who now has a girlfriend - how he has one is a mystery of the universe - and said girlfriend start to serve themselves. I mention, "dinner's not quite ready, you guys might want to hold off just now."

"No, we're okay." was his response and they continued to serve themselves and sit down and eat! In normal society, my statement really means "dinner is not ready, please don't start in yet" does it not? But they don't take the clue and his mom comes over and starts helping herself next! What's the proper way to tell people to stop fucking eating! My mom would do it and it would come across as rude. So we said nothing.

Dinner is finally served maybe 20 minutes later and guess who the first three persons were in line? And they ALL grabbed more bread and salad. I mean, really? Really? We had enough food - but not by too much - we expected 17. Mind you, anything that family does frustrates me and I dont' suffer fools well but I bit my tongue. I had no idea until this morning how pissed off the nearly unflappabel Mrs. Nouveau was either.

A little later, my wife asks the mom, out sister in law, if she can get her anything to drink.

"What do you have?" is the response.

My wife responded, "Well, we have beer, all different sorts of wine, margaritas, most mixed drinks, coke, diet coke, root beer, orange soda, lemonade and bottled water." Now, in text I can't do the impression my wife does of my sister-in-law, but think of the whiniest voice you can when you read she answered, "Hmmmm, well, ummmmmm......I don't really want any of that.....I guess just a water then." She seemed completely disappointed.

Unbelievable! I ask this, gentle reader and answer honestly. What is NOT on that list that any reasonable party-goer would expect to be offered? Clamato? Prune juice? Moxie? Seriously, if you're tastes are so off the beaten path for refreshments perhaps you should really bring your own. Am I wrong. Everyone else seemed to find something acceptable.

I am pretty much best friends with my brother so I really try not to say anything, but his family drives me bonkers! In fact, drives everyone bonkers.