What's Your Return Policy?

Although I don't buy donuts often, my addiction for coffee rather frequently has me in Dunkin' Donuts (they of the franchise every 350 feet for so - seriously, do we need them across the street from each other? Its gettin' to be rigoddamndiculous) to purchase a cup. At which time, they insist on giving me a receipt. You know what? I'm all set. Keep your paper.

It reminds me of the late, great Mitch Hedberg.....

“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for a doughnut. I’ll give you the money, you give me the doughnut…end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: “Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut…I got the documentation right here! (pause) Oh wait, it’s back home in the file under ‘D’ for doughnut.” ‘Cuz we all know what ‘D’ is.

~Mitch Hedberg

I agree.

Coffee Shirt

The other day, while driving into work, I spilled coffee on the white golf shirt I wore. Worse, is that I am simply too vain to suck it up and just walk around the office all day in a stained shirt. So, what's a fella to do when its 8am and there's nothing open yet? Well, this fella cruised over to his golf course, which is closer to his office than his home, and used $40 pro-shop credit (won from a tournament) to buy a $42 golf shirt to wear for the day. Two bucks out of pocket. Not bad.


Anybody have a Tide Stick?

Three Things on My Desk

Three (semi-)interesting things on my desk (among many):

1. Batman Coffee Mug: Alas, it is no longer used for coffee. Just water. Also, its not cleaned nearly as often as it should be. I know....ewwwwww. Also serves as paperweight when opening clipped folders and as a source of amusement for my boss's 7-year-old son. Whenever he's here, he makes a special Mecca-like trip into my office merely to gaze upon it. He's even gone so far as to photocopy it. This kid has it BAD for all things Batman. Not me so much....it was $1.99 at the cheapo card-shop next door and I needed a mug.

2. Picachu Toy? Hello Kitty? Anybody? What the hell is this? Anyway, since we are in a client-serviced business, frequently clients will bring in small children for appointments. We have a big bin of toys to occupy the kids, or in last week's case, my kid. She left this here for me. Upon examination, at one point it used to wind up and do something. But no more. Apparently, its days of doing dog and pony shows for the Man are over without explaination. Oh, it winds. It winds and winds and winds and winds. Perhaps some day it will suprise me with a trick or two but now it seems content to stare at me with those alien eyes.

3. Red Sox/Dunkin Donuts 2004 Championship Mug. Well insulated and still 1/2 full of tepid coffee. I've been known to nurse a cup of coffee to lunch. Serves as my primary vessel for shipping coffee from home to work. Usually gets cleaned in between trips. Perhaps if I didn't violate it by drinking out of it and sending it periodically through the dishwasher it would be a collector's item and I could make $10,000 on Ebay in the year 2055. I guess I don't plan ahead well.

What's on your desk? Anything interesting? Funny?