Insane in the Membrane

If the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results, I nominate our recently-high-school-graduated part-time clerk for the cuckoo's nest.

He literally stood at the copier for 15 minutes late yesterday trying in vain to feed the same sheet of paper through the automatic feeder. Now, one would think if the feeder doesn't take the paper perhaps changing the paper direction might do the trick? Or maybe one could open the feeder sleeve to investigate whether there is some interference in there such as a staple or torn paper? Wait. I know. How about lifting the cover and just putting your troublesome document directly on the glass?

Nope.

He stood there and fed the sheet the same way over and over again as I watched from the other room. And it jammed over and over again in that it wouldn't take the paper to be copied. The red light flashed and the machine produced a blank sheet. Said clerk promptly muttered "Jesus Christ", loudly crumpled the blank sheet, opened the cover to reset the red light and tried again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

When I could no longer stand it, I went over without saying a thing, opened the feeder sleeve, twiddled with the rollers, closed it and sent his document through.

He seemed appreciative.

I wonder if I could get him involuntarily committed for insanity. On the other hand, though, I wish I had his patience.

Stairway to Rip Off

I've heard a lot in the last few months on the radio about how much music Lep Zeppelin ripped off in their time. I'm by no means a Zep Head but I am a fan of their hits and cool riffs. I even like Stairway to Heaven which at some point became uncool to like.

As a consequence, I did some online googling and I must say I will never quite hear them the same from now on. All my references herein are probably hearsay and I'm sure there are rebuttals. Having said that, potential offenses include:

Babe I'm Gonna Leave You - A really nice song that's been covered over and over since Zep originally did it. "This song is a Folk standard. Led Zeppelin thought it was a traditional song, meaning no one could claim they wrote it, but later found out it was written by a Folk singer named Anne Briggs. She was a very influential singer, but stopped recording in 1971 at age 27, and has not recorded since. She was not credited for this until 1990, when her son brought it to the attention of the band" (reference).

Black Dog - I've heard the following many times but this guy put it pretty well. "Zep, like many other English bands of the period, ripped off old bluesmen shamelessly. Muddy Waters and Howling Wolf use the same riff, albeit slower, in several songs; Robert Johnson is the source of the lyrics for this song, although Plant makes a few cosmetic changes" (reference).

Whole Lotta Love - Despite the unabashed misogyny of the lyric, "Shake for me girl, I wanna be your back door man...." it once again appears that Led Zeppelin "borrowed" another song, that may have been borrowed already. "After Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love came out in 1969, Brit-rock connoisseurs noted its striking resemblance musically and especially lyrically to an album track by mid sixties teen idols the Small Faces, You Need Loving. Then blues aficionados waded in, pointing out that far from being ripped off by Zep, the Small Faces were appropriating a Muddy Waters classic called You Need Love, written by blues composer supreme Willie Dixon. (Zeppelin may have proceeded straight from that source, too, although the vocal similarities between Whole Lotta Love and the Small Faces track are striking.)

In the end, Dixon received a settlement and a co-writer's credit from Zeppelin" (reference).

Stairway to Heaven - If you haven't heard the intro to Taurus by Spirit find it and check it out. I was blown away at how identical it sounded to the intro to Stairway which so many regard as a Page masterpiece and is consistently nominated greatest rock song of all time. Well, it is great, no doubt. Shame its not so original. To wit --

"The opening chord progression and verse in "Stairway to Heaven" are nearly identical to the 1968 instrumental "Taurus" by the group Spirit. In the liner notes to the reissue of Spirit's 1968 eponymous debut, songwriter Randy California mentions the fact that Jimmy Page took special interest in "Taurus". Prior to his death in 1997, Randy California was often asked about it in interviews, to which he typically responded that he did not consider the "Stairway" intro to be a rip-off, but simply a "reworking" of his song.

"Led Zeppelin was the opening act for Spirit's 1968 tour. While nobody in Led Zeppelin has ever cited influence from the track, the band was known to incorporate bits of Spirit song Fresh Garbage into their early concert medleys, and Jimmy Page has said that his use of a theremin was inspired by seeing Randy California use one" (reference).

I'm sure there are plenty of others and I'm sure many, many other bands can get held up to this type of scrutiny. However, it does seem that time and again I'm hearing how Zeppelin was "influenced" by such-and-such for this song or that. I've also heard over and over how often they've been sued and about ensuing album credits including songwriters who were not originally listed.

Interesting stuff. STILL a great band. But somewhat tainted in my view.

X-Rays, Castles, Ferrys and Water Falls

I didn't mention that a week ago Friday I banged my knee really good playing softball. I dove for a ball in centerfield and landed on it but good! I even felt myself going into a bit of shock as it swelled nearly instantly.

It killed me for a few days but there didn't seem to be any stability issues so I figured it would subside after a time. My concern actually was that I cracked or chipped the patella but it wasn't terribly sensitive to the pain so I went on with it.

On Saturday, after review of its purple passion hue, my buddy told me he knew a guy who dislocated his kneecap and needed surgery after surgery. That caused me some concern. I hadn't really thought of that angle but thought that was a possibility.

Then, later that evening, I banged it ever so gently and thought I would throw up. I was very nauseous and in major agony.

I awoke Sunday morning determined to get it checked out even though I had plans for a nice family day. I went to the nearby walk-in center but they weren't going to be open for a few more hours and not wanting to waste the whole day, I went to the emergency room. I was VERY impressed with how streamlined and organized the whole process was at Manchester Memorial Hospital and kudos to their staff for getting me in, x-rayed, checked out and released in 1 hour exactly.

It turns out I irritated the Bursa Sack at the knee which caused the swelling and pain. Basically, time and ice and elevation (all of which I was doing) was the remedy so I left with peace of mind that it wasn't anything terribly serious despite the pain I was in.

After getting home and going out for a lunch in which the three of us absolutely gorged ourselves we took the 45 mile trip to Gillette Castle. I had visited as a kid but Mrs. Blogger and The Little One had never been. We did the interior tour which was pretty cool. It was owned and built by actor, playwright, director William Gillette for about 1 million dollars back around 1914 or so. Gillette is most famous for playing Sherlock Holmes in numerous plays. Amazingly, he was earning about $315,000 tax-free dollars at the time. Anyway, its a fascinating place with terrific views of the beautiful Connecticut River.

My picture of the castle

The view from the Castle

Next we boarded the nearby ferry to cross the river. There are two ferries across the Connecticut river and this one has been in service for over two hundred years. I was surprised it was only $3 too!

Didn't have to wait long at all

View looking up at the Castle from the Ferry

Then we were off to Kent Falls. Not a short drive at all, but its the highest waterfall in Connecticut and, again, I had gone as a kid, but Mrs. B. and the Little One had never been. We got there around 7pm and enjoyed hiking around (sorta enjoyed as I'm on a gimpy knee) until dusk. The Little One even got to play in the water for a bit.

Another cell phone snapped pic

Just an all around terrific day spent with the family, and except for gas, it was really inexpensive.

Dinosaurs vs. God

Do you think that anti-evolution devotees forbid their small children from wearing dinosaur shirts, watching Land Before Time or playing with dinosaur figurines?

Rapper's Delight

Yesterday evening while running some pool errands (skimmer, floaties, thermeter - I don't think it will ever end), I was listening to Super Shuffle on Sirius satellite radio. Its a cool station in that you can hear everything from 80's Ozzy to today's Hinder to Country to Rapper's Delight by the Sugar Hill Gang. If you're unfamiliar with that song, its the one the the old lady sings at her anniversary during The Wedding Singer (she nailed it). To wit --

i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie

to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop

the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie

to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat.....

Anyway, while I'm sure there were many predecessors, I remember it being the first rap song that I ever really heard.

The scene was 10th grade Algebra II, 1982, and my teacher was an absolute music nut. We used to see her (probably then 40) at all the concerts we went to, such as Ozzy, Krokus, Aerosmith, Billy Squier, etc. etc. She had also seen the Beatles and Stones live which we thought was the coolest thing.

In this class, there was a very tall, gangly kid who was white, if it matters. For the most part he was pretty quiet and bored with the class but when he spoke up it was usually something hysterical that was said. He sat in the back and one day was quietly singing Rapper's Delight to his buddy as class was filing in before it actually began.

The teacher heard him and was intrigued. I remember the quick staccato style and beat box delivery and thinking how strange, yet cool, it sounded. Apparently, she did too. So she asked him, knowing he was a ham, to come up front and belt it out. He did without hesitation and it was pretty cool. He was VERY good.

Anyway, upon hearing the song yesterday in its entirety, its seems to me rap hasn't changed all that much. Its sampled over Chic's Good Times which I knew was an existing song, but googling it taught me the name of it and the band. It also featured, which is still prevalent in today's rap, tons of talk in the first person (amazing how many songs are in the second person - is that pretty much the only genre in the second person?), word spelling, copious beat and lots of self glorification (check it out here). I can't remember if there was scratching, though.

It was interesting to hear it again and I truly like the song as well as many other rap songs, albeit the pop-friendly ones. There's something about creatively sampling songs, or even covering them, that I find really cool. While I can't get too into the gangster stuff or degrading of women songs I certainly don't mind a listen when a good one comes on.

Give it a listen if you haven't heard it in a long time. I think you, too, may see how much it has influenced today's rap/pop music.

This concludes today's history lesson. Class dismissed.

Rose By Any Other Name

My recent travels around the state for business took me by a pet cemetery which reminded me of a story ---

When I did time as a teenager working fast food I met a woman named Rose. Rose was a short, plump elderly lady who may have been as old as 70 and worked "specialty boards" which entailed their "non-hamburger" sandwiches. A widow, she drove a big, clunky, old, dirty yellow station wagon full of knick knacks and newspapers. She claimed the newspapers were due to the fact that she was studying the Jai Alai trends. I was sort of into Jai Alai at the time so we talked frequently about it, but she never actually went. Never.

It was unclear to me whether she worked out of necessity or boredom but I imagine it was a bit of both. Through her perpetually fingerprinted glasses she would tell tales of how great a man her late husband was and about her two dogs; one living, one recently deceased.

A cool thing about Rose was that every day she brought me cupcakes or Charleston Chews or Chocodiles or Snowballs or other crap foods that kids love.. It occurred to me at the time that she probably couldn't afford it but it made her happy and I got some free junk food for being nice to her. She always sought me out at the beginning of each shift with a cheerful "hello" and gave me my treat. As a consequence, I became protective of her when other employees would tease her or disparage her on the side. Although, everyone liked her.

This was a time, the early '80's, when most fast food staff were regular kids working to make a buck, so an elderly woman working there really stood out. I'm not sure it would be so today. It seems now, at least up here, its more older people and parents, many of whom from outside our country, trying to get by by making a living at it. I was merely trying to earn a few bucks for the movies, beer, gas and sometimes save money for college. I can't imagine trying to get by on fast food wages today.

One day, Rose asked me for a favor. Well, actually, she offered to pay me $10 to drive her out to her late dog's grave. The kennel/cemetery was about 15 miles out on back roads and I think Rose either was uncomfortable driving there or didn't trust her car or was bad with directions or just wanted company.

I thought about declining the request or at the very least, the payment, but I didn't. I agreed to take her for what amounted to more than three hours pay.

The trip entailed more conversation about her late husband, who was deceased for years and years and talk of her late dog, Blackie. Much of which I had already heard before. Today it is so painfully obvious how terribly lonely this poor woman must have been. I'm not sure I saw it so clearly at seventeen though.

The grave was beautiful. Set in a town of affluence, it no doubt is an indulgence for the better off as they bury and visit their lost pets. The area was and is complete with professional landscaping and smallish black marble headstones. I can only imagine it must have cost way beyond Rose's means but then this dog was obviously something special.

Rose cried. Standing at the tasteful grave, still in her Burger King uniform, she explained to me with a choked voice. how great a dog Blackie yet again and how much I would have liked him.

I stood there. Uncomfortable. Waiting for it to be over.

I remember the drive back we listened to some Elton John on the tape player. Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word merely elicited more tears from Rose yet she remarked what a beautiful song it was. When we got back to the restaurant she tried to pay me $15, but I would only take $10. I guess she wanted to tip me but a deal is a deal I said. I might even have had a tinge of guilt for accepting the money but I took it.

The next day I relayed the story to my best friend at work. Of course, he knew Rose. I told him about Rose crying at the grave.

His response? "Did you embrace?" Funny guy.

I DID think of hugging her or putting a hand on her shoulder while she knelt and tidied up at the grave . But I didn't. I wonder what I'd do if it were today.

Rose stayed and worked at the restaurant for many years after I left. I'd see her from time to time as a customer and chat for a minute or two. Then it all faded away. Of course, I'm sure she's long gone now. I don't remember her talking much about family or children or anything along those lines. I really hope she didn't pass away as lonely as she appeared.

Weekend Project

On Friday, Mrs. Blogger purchased a 13 foot inflatable pool, complete with pump. So, this past weekend, I set it up behind the garage of my house. I've never been able to grow any grass there anyway and I had some extra fencing, so I fenced in the neighbor's side, set it up on some stonedust and filled in the area that shows with decorative stone.

What do you think?

Little One's been in a bunch, but its still way too cold for me. I'm wimpy when it comes to cold water.