Dance Revolution

There are so many mornings when I wake up with a song in my head. I don't sleep with a radio on or anything like that so I am unclear where it comes from. The song du jour could be a contemporary hit like Nickelback's Rockstar - which has happened more than once - or something very extraneous like a Sinatra song.

Today it was The Hustle.

You know the song? The disco hit --

Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot dooot
Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot dooot
Do the Hustle!

I didn't actually count my doot's as there would be thousands of them. But I think you get the point.

So anyway, as I'm soaping up my incredibly muscular and tan body and lathering my thick and healthy locks of hair (nobody exaggerates online, right?) I have the stupid song in my head. Actually, it may have even been vocalized. But if one sings in the shower and nobody is there to hear it, is it really singing? Ah, philosophy. Its the words on a cereal box......

My out of sync wailing caused me to remember that I took dance lessons as a kid. It was an after school thing that was like $10 for 1 billion lessons or something. I think I was 11. We did line dancing and polka among others as well as the Hustle. I liked it and was not at all self-conscious about it.

But I don't care for it now.

Sure, I like a nice slow dance with my lady. Some romantic diddy that takes us back to a pleasant memory. I also like dances where the singer tells you what to do or when the dance is goofy by nature such as the Hookie Pookie or Electric Slide or whathaveyou. That way, I am supposed to look stupid. Which I'm sure I do. But I never partake without alcohol. Copious amounts of alcohol. Without alcohol, would any guy dance?

Yep, it definitely makes the gig.

I think one of my many other other dancing problems is that my taste in music is not conducive to good dancing. I don't have a kick-ass dance mix CD, nor should I! Plus, I don't' get all ga-ga over Kelly Clarkson's latest and don't even get me started on the Techno Crap I hear at the gym. Gack!!

Aside from that stuff, though, its very weird to be out there, shaking your money-maker, making sure your arms don't go above your head and then coming to a near standstill because of some 4 minute guitar solo a the end of a Danzig song.

In the planning stages of my wedding, the DJ asked what songs we wanted played. I am kind of Queer-Eye in that I had interest in the planning of the wedding just as I'm into home decor and what clothes to buy and helping Mrs. B choose outfits. Oh, and I have a tiny dog. Otherwise, its all man here! Don't you forget it.

Mrs. B is very eclectic in her music tastes and we like much of the same stuff, so we didn't have much difficulty selecting songs. I only had two "must plays" and one of which was You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC. Its been a constant favorite song in my life since my early teens and all my buddies and the Mrs. are into it too so we had to have it. Somehow it became our "clique" song so to speak. And, it screams lust love, doesn't it?

Naturally, it was one of the last songs played during that special day and the dance floor was pretty packed by the younger guests. I'm not positive, but over in the corner I may have seen my 82 year old Nana rocking out to it too. Powerful song, I tell ya.

Consequently, we were having a blast. Most on the floor were pretty tanked up from the four hours of open bar and we sort of had a circle dance thing going on which was mostly to make fun of each other I suppose. The song rocked along and we all went nuts dancing in our white guy overbites and air-guitar simulated ridiculousness.

The solo came up and my hysterical sister-in-law, in full bridesmaid navy blue dress and black hose goes into a pseudo Pete Townsend air guitar solo complete with the obligatory arched back, guitar hero, slide across the floor as she nailed every chord.

Of course, her hose at the knees basically exploded open and I think she was sore for a few days. But it was a pretty incredible dance move and she pulled it off under the most difficult of circumstances.

It was a great time. Many still talk of that move.

At least she can dance. I can't. And I had the billion lessons for $10.