Ohh! Scary

There's a certain nip to the air this morning. Today dawned damp and breezy it would seem Autumn is upon us here in southern New England. Corn stalks and hay bales and painted guords and carved pumpkins are beginning their eclectic appearances in retail stores as well as formalizing the season at neighborhood homes.

Spooky novelty stores have opened and a certain adult-themed "boutique" is advertising sexy costumes on a billboard that I cannot miss on my morning commute. Nor do I try to. Of course, less than three weeks away is Halloween. And my kid wants to be a tree. Yeah, a tree. Go figure. Should be an easy costume to put together at least.

While seemingly not as abundant nowadays as in my youth, I am reminded of haunted houses. What was once available in nearly every town now has become somewhat of an amusement park venture or been transformed into considerably less spooky hay-rides or corn mazes.

There used to be a really good one in downtown Hartford that was set up in an old department store and although they collected a hefty entry fee, at least it was for some charitable cause. This one was good though. Really good. Patrons didn't mind waiting on line for 2 plus hours to visit this particular fright fest and I recall my then-girlfriend, now Mrs. B., my buddy and his long-gone girlfriend doing just that.

In line, long-gone girlfriend mentioned a fear of clowns. A common fear I suppose. I'm not so fond of them myself but its more dislike than terror. My ex-sister-in-law was a part-time clown for children in her younger days. Since she was a bit of a fun-loving antagonist and knew so many adults didn't like clowns, she made sure to annoyingly visit with a few at whatever party she was working if only to entertain herself. That I would hate. But I wouldn't feel scared.

Anyway, we progress into the haunted house and one particular exhibit had a haunted elevator ride. Inside were the four of us and perhaps four other patrons. After bumping around like the elevator was falling out of control it came to a "stop" and a panel opened up. Out came, you guessed it, the scariest, most disgusting clown I've ever seen. Everyone on the "ride" was totally startled. But, just to make things more fun, this clown sought out long-gone girlfriend and scared the bejesus out of her. She nearly melted as she slid down the corner walls of the box and screamed and cried hysterically. The rest of us were hysterical too. From laughter.

I don't know if anyone heard our outdoor conversations or if it was just dumb luck they got her. This poor girl was as terrified as anyone I've ever seen and took a long time to recover afterwards.

Funny to the rest of us but I guess I'm glad he didn't pick me.

What are you afraid of?