Audition Time

Last Thursday night I had my audition for Blackjack. The audition is where the student goes one-on-one with an instructor in a casino setting putting everything he's learned on the line. Predictably, I ended up with the "tough" instructor. He's a nice enough guy but not as nurturing as the other one and he doesn't hide his frustration with students nearly as well. Also, it seems he revels a bit in tricking students wherein the other is much more straight-forward.

Didn't matter though. I was cocky. I really knew my shit. I got 99 out of 100 correct on our final. Plus, I've been on stage before and I've played guitar publicly and been in sports pressure situations such as baseball and golf and come through on top many times. I was positive I could handle the pressure and subsequent nervousness. Hell, its just dealing some cards and taking and paying cheques (chips).

My shuffle was nearly flawless and well under the time required so I was off to a flying start. Then I made a big mistake. I sent out the wrong number of cheques after the "customer" gave me his money. Of course, in the casino, the floor supervisor would never authorize sending it and I could have easily rectified the situation. However, my instructor who was also the customer told me to send it after I asked for "change $820".

As I pushed the pile out to him, I thought to myself, "I think that's too much. Can't be, though. He said send it." But it didn't feel right. My mind started reeling and he did nothing to help matters. He said, "Well, I'm done playing your table, I think I'll go cash in." It was the exact opposite of nurturing and, in fact, it was very sarcastic. At first I didn't know what he meant. I thought he was testing my customer service. Soon enough, I knew I really screwed up.

He pushed the cheques in front of me, in a big sloppy pile and said, "Re-rack it neatly and try again".

Shit! Shit, shit, shit! "Work with me, nervous fingers, work with me", I thought. My mind raced onto thoughts of wasting 8 weeks of class and not passing.

"Don't be nervous" he said. Yeah, okay, whatever. How do you not be nervous? How can you turn it off? Well, I did minimize it, but I never really felt sharp dealing to him. By feeling sharp, I mean I was in control. It was my table and I know what I'm doing. Because I do normally. I understand, from later conversations he made a woman in my class cry at her audition and she ran off to the bathroom. And I thought she was a pretty good dealer.

I got the checques right the next time but made a simple mistake dealing to him right away. It wasn't a huge mistake, but it surely compounded my thought process. I just couldn't get my mind in synch at all for a bit. I knew I had to slow everything down in my mind in order to get into a dealing groove so I could move along nicely and in rhythm. So much of dealing is going in rhythm and I was a beat off.

After I showed I wasn't a total moron, he gave me a few tricky challenges and payouts and I did very well with them, so at least I ended on a high note but I was very disappointed in myself and I don't think I hid it well.

He asked how I thought I did. I said, "horrible". He sat there with a doofy grin. Thanks for the reassurance, dude!. However, a few moments later, the told me he did the exact same thing in his audition (and, hell, he's a floor supervisor now). He said he thinks part of my problem is I'm a perfectionist and that part of dealing is dealing with mistakes. He went on to say he knows how hard I've worked and how seriously I take the class. Which I do. He told me not to worry myself about it.

Well, I worried myself about it. And when Friday night came and I wasn't called in for a review of my audition, I worried more about it. That, in turn, allowed me to worry about it all weekend even. Lucky!

So last night, we began novelty games. Texas Hold'em bonus was my side's lecture and when the nicer instructor was done he asked, "Who wants to deal?" I volunteered immediately and was nearly flawless in a game I had about 60 minutes of class on. I was much, much better (in my humble opinion) than those that followed me. But then, I do understand the game as I've played it a ton.

I was getting back to my old, cocky self. "They both saw me. They know what I can do" I convinced myself, but I was still concerned I hadn't heard back on my audition review. Many in the class hadn't either.

So after class last night I went to them. "I noticed I hadn't been called in for my audition review. Is that something I should be concerned about?" Both, almost in unison, said, "No, not at all". My audition instructor said, "You didn't show the real you in your audition. We know what what you can do. You have nothing to worry about."

Phew! Thank God!

So, it looks like in 4 weeks I'll get my gaming license in Blackjack and novelties. Apparently, nobody that passes Blackjack fails novelties, so it looks good from here in. The new games are a nice change of pace and I had tons of fun learning last night's, playing it and dealing it.