Bloggin' Sleep

I just haven't had much to blog about lately. Nor do many others from the results of my blog surfing. Must be the time of year.

Some updates had my parents down for a lovely five days the week of the first - I may finally have a furnace that will work for more than two consecutive days as it appeared to have been an electrical problem which was discovered in visit number 7 - Poor Mrs. Blogger has a virus and has missed her last 4 workdays of a job where missing 1 day creates unimaginable stress - I'm down to 11 more classes of dealer school and can finally see the end of the tunnel that was so dark and distant when this all began - Work has been hectic as we have bought out another business so my workload has increased by at least 50% but I did get a nice raise as of the first of the year - My Vegas trip is 5 1/2 weeks away so I hit golf balls on Sunday and hit them almost too well and feel its probably all downhill from here on.

I guess that's it. I'll leave you with two relatively clean jokes perhaps you haven't heard before:

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A woman walks onto a bus carrying her 1 year old baby. After she puts the money in the slot and begins to move down the aisle, she hears the bus driver mutter, "Good God! That is one ugly baby!"

Despondent, she sits next to a distinguished looking older gentleman who immediately notices her troubled look and asks her what's wrong.

"The bus driver completely insulted me. I'm so hurt I feel like I'm going to cry" she said.

"That's horrible," responded the gentleman. "He is a public servant and you deserve better than that. You should go up there and either demand an apology or get his badge number and report him to his supervisor."

"That's exactly what I'll do! That's a good idea" exclaimed the woman as she stood to go about the task.

"You're damn right it is!" responded the man. "Don't worry, I'll watch your monkey while you're gone."

--

A man agrees with his wife that its time to take his elderly mother-in-law into their home. While she's always been a pain in his ass, he loves his wife and its simply the right thing to do since money is too tight to put her into a retirement home.

A week after she moves in, he comes home to find her unconscious on the floor. Immediately, he calls 911 and she's rushed to hospital. They admit her and work on her for over an hour before the doctor comes out to inform him of the situation.

"Mr. Smith. I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?"

"I guess the bad news" Mr. Smith replies.

"Well, your mother-in-law suffered a massive stroke. It would appear she will need constant care for the rest of her life. She will need to be fed and bathed and dressed and even have the most personal of hygiene attended to. Plus, other than the stroke, she's extremely healthy and could well live another 20 years or so."

Mr. Smith immediately processes the daunting challenge ahead for his wife and him.

"What's the good news, doctor?"

He replies, "I'm kidding. She's DEAD!"