Weather or Not

So Tuesday we had an earthquake and Sunday we expect a hurricane. I AM still in Connecticut, right?

I Mean, Seriously?

Predictions of 2 to 5 inches of snow today, tonight and into tomorrow have me asking:

WHAT

THE

FUCK?

It was 73 on Friday. I payed my golf club dues and golfed over the weekend. Grrrr.....

You Give Me Fever

Temperatures today are in the mid 40's with even warmer forecast through the weekend. Spring fever's running rampant and its all anyone can talk about. We're down to about two feet of standing snow now. Perhaps I will be golfing by Memorial Day afterall.

And I also recently received softball league information.

Glass Nipples

Woah, was it cold! How about morning low of -10? That's minus 10 folks! My house woke with up with some kind of popping/settling or perhaps just chattering.

When did we teleport to Alaska exactly?

I love the seasons but this winter is getting old fast! And football season as I know it is over. Darn Jets!

When does my golf course open up?

Now That's a Storm

No bullshit from the weathermen this time! The normal over-glorified hype actually came true! My house had nearly 30 inches! No school yesterday or today! I can't remember a time they had two days off in a row.

Our cars are in those mounds. I think the weather guy on TV was creaming in his pants!

Its so hot.....

Our weather is ridiculously hot this week. Today its 101. Quite rare for southern New England. I mean its HOT! Did you just ask how hot? I mean hot.



Its so hot....



I just saw two squirrels fanning their nuts. Hot I say.
Cows are giving evaporated milk. Hot.
Even Satan took the day off. Wicked HAWT (as they's say in Boston).
The National Weather Service just issued a Flash Sweat Warning. Look out! Its hot.
The trees are whistling for the dogs. Yep. Fucking hot!
It dipped below 95 and I put on a sweater. Did I mention its hot out?
I even got condensation on my butt from the coolness of the bowl water. Now that's HOT!



Okay, enough of that. I'm off to play 9-holes in my golf league. Anybody have a sponge?

** jokes obtained from various sources online

What Up Babs?

Chicken Little screamed and clawed and clucked. But in the end, the sky didn't fall. Nor much else.

Three days! Three days we heard about the impending snowstorm. "Barbara" they named her. High winds. Deep snows. Impending doom, they said! Doooooooooooom.

Schools closed the afternoon before. Predictions had 10 to 18 inches, with higher amounts possible. One storm would meet another. We should all stock up on bread and water and Chef-Boyardee.

So what if it was a little late in arriving but only by, oh, 7 hours or so. Of course, then the amounts were reduced to 6 to 10 inches. Flakes fell. Barely. However, it merely coated the grass and created wet pavement. Stay indoors unless travel is absolutely necessary, right? But certainly, the wallop was to come.

By the 6pm forecast, snowfall amounts were reduced to 2 to 5 inches. Woah! Bad enough, I guess, but, what the HELL am I going to do with the 32 cans of Beefaroni and 7 loaves of bread I bought in preparation?

At daybreak today I arose early so as to allow time for snow removal and school delays. Racing to the window, I threw open the sash and looked upon the winter wonderland. Initially surprised to find the window wasn't completely blocked by drifting snow, I anticipated the the beauty and purity of newfallen snow covering all in a Snuggie of white.

Then I saw it. The devastation television forecasters and ticker tape warnings that were foretold - we had maybe, maybe, 1 and one-half inches of snow! Babs wasn't quite the bitch we feared.

Where's my can opener?

Should be a Beatles Song

Holy shit! I think I just saw the sun!

Was it? Hmmmm......guess not. Maybe summer will make it around Labor Day.

New Enlgand Weather

Let's see. First half of last week: Cold and rainy. They even had spits of snow in some sections.

Then Friday, pretty nice - about 70 and sunny. Beautiful Spring day.

Saturday, 92! Sunday 88. Yesterday 89. Today 88. Summer? Woah! Hold on a minute.

Tomorrow - 60 or so. Rest of week, high 50's and showers.

You never know around here, but I'm off to play my first round of golf for my new golf league (we were rained out last week).

Wish me well.

Misc.

I just got back from lunch with my brother in law/best friend "T". We went to Hooters (barely down the road) and had a couple pitchers with our wings and sandwiches. It was a semi-working lunch actually. Surely, their food's not so great, but the scenery is not half bad. As a result of our indulgence, however, I have a nice glow on. Ever work with a buzz? Sure makes the afternoon more enjoyable. Having said that, its a slow Friday and I can't wait to get out of here to start my weekend.

****

Unfortunately, today I woke up to a scratchy throat. Mrs. B. has nursed a bit of a summer cold for a few days and I fear I may have contracted it from her. I didn't really get sick last winter and when I did feel something coming on I took "Airborne". Its an effervescent pill that tastes like grapefruit juice (a little) after being dropped in water; ala Alka Seltzer. It tastes like Fresca and I just downed one. Anyway, it works wonders for me and I'll swear by it in the future. Try it next time you feel a cold coming.

Fear not, it clearly states on the container "Created by a Second Grade School Teacher". If that kind of statement on your health products doesn't indicate high levels of integrity and quality, I don't know what does. Need pills for your ailment? What does a doctor know? Go see an elementary school teacher!

****

In other news, we had a major storm here last night and a tornado touched down about 15 miles away. To my Oklahoma friends that may not be a big deal, but its been a long time since there was a confirmed twister on the ground in these parts. I found it pretty exciting. Of course, it wasn't in my neighborhood.

****

Finally, for quite a while I've promised the Little One I would take her camping. We've camped in the living room before and lately she's taken to her new Strawberry Shortcake tent which has been set up there. But this weekend, its for keeps. The real deal.

While praying against tornadoes (weather looks to be fine) tonight I will pack our real tent, sleeping bags, comforters, board games, chairs, stove, grill, cooler, beer, instant coffee, wine, steaks, potatoes, corn, eggs, bagels, butter, plastic kitchen0-ware and beach supplies among the many other things I will no doubt forget. Then, tomorrow, after I return from golf (I can't miss that, can I?) we will trek the 40 or so miles to the Connecticut shore and hang out for the day before camping out for the night in one of the state park campsites. After which, we will spend Sunday at the shore for a nice holiday weekend even if not less than an hour's drive away.

I did a lot of camping as a kid and through high school and college and swore after I had the means, it would be only Motels/Hotels for me. Well, I have the means, but the Little One is all fired up for some camping and I can certainly handle one night of it. You could say I'm even looking forward to it. I'll just have to make sure I have plenty of reading material to fend off the boredom.

Unless one thinks I can talk Mrs. B. into wearing something slinky to bed? Hmmmm.....

Hey Weatherman!

Dude! Its southern New England --

We don't need three days of forecasting for a snow dusting that my Pledge-challenged furniture would giggle at!

We don't need your "snow tonight, stay tuned for our 11pm forecast to find out how much" at 5:15 so that at 11:25 you can tell us it won't be much of a deal!

We don't need your impending doom snow teasers that excite every wheelchair license-plated, blue-head driving, look between the steering wheel and the dashboard piloted 1983 Delta 88 so much that they "dash out" to the grocery store to stock up on supplies as if we might be snow-bound until Easter. (Gramma, my car idles faster than you're driving - the "snow" is tomorrow, not today - please, please, turn your blinker off and push the rectangle on the right -- and I think new batteries, a flashlight, some knee-highs, cat food, Metamucil, 3 gallons of milk, frozen scalloped potatoes and 4 loaves of bread for your single-person dwelling is plenty to get you through this disaster)!

Lastly, Mr. Weatherman we don't need everyone who witnessed your 3 day tirade about the impending "weather" to follow your advice by exercizing "caution" while driving if caution means going 4 m.p.h. on a perfectly dry and snowless highway on which I'll soon be for 18 miles!

Again! Its southern New England. Most of us have seen much, much more snow before. Ok?

Thanks!

Having said all that --- this is to you, Mr. Yuppie SUV-driving-4x4 guy in the ditch.....4x4's don't STOP any faster than non 4X4's....they merely propel you through the snow more efficienlty....slow down next time, dickhead.

Musings

Would the president's State of the Union speech hold more water if the sycophants in attendance didn't stand and applaud every singe sentence he read and no doubt didn't write and possilby didn't come up with in the first place?

Would the weatherman (or women) who are so terrifically accurate at getting today and tomorrow's weather accurate, please refrain from the "Eight day forecast" since they can barely get the three day forecast right?

Would it be all right if next year for Christmas I sent all my cards out unstamped but with my name and address in the recipient area and my friend's and family's address in the upper left so that the cards get "returned to sender"?

What I Saw

So, this is what happens when you go from 72 degrees to 38 in about 60 hours. My view driving home last night. I'm sure the picture doesnt' do it justice and I was going about 65 mph, but it was the most beautiful bruise-purple and pink sky against a light blue background. Never rained or snowed either, just dazzled me.

Weekend Wrapup

I had myself a rather nice weekend. Hope you all did too.

Friday night I played in a monthly Texas Hold 'Em no-limit game. I'm thrown to the wolves every month as most of these guys play 3, 4 or 5 times a week and I play monthly. But I can watch it on TV and learn right? That Ben Affleck sure can play, lol. Made a mistake that didn't cost me money, but I didn't make nearly enough off trip twos. Finally, got beat on my all-in with ace/four when a jack came on the river for my opponent. I was getting low on chips and the blinds were rising and coming around. Had to make a move. Didn't work. Oh well. Came in about 20th out of 28 guys.

Saturday morning I woke up to rain. Shortly afterwards my cell phone rang (Metallica - No Leaf Clover -- always sticks in my head for hours after, lol). Brother says "Its not raining.....meet us at the golf course in 40 min". Quck shower, some wrinkled clothes thrown on and a twenty minute drive later, I was there in time. Stopped raining as I pulled in. Turned out to be PERFECT! Temps reached 72 degrees. What would be the normal high for that date? Hmmm....about 32 maybe? We played in short sleeve shirts on Jan. 6. Un-friggin'-believable!! And I played quite well too. I'm still high about it! Looks like the colder weather is on its way, but it was sure nice while it lasted. Again, hurray Global Warming (at least for golf).

Spend the afternoon taking down all the Christmas decorations, playing with my daughter and getting to the gym.

That evening, I took Mrs. Nouveau out to a nice dinner and drinks. Dropped the Little One off at the in-laws and had a pleasant evening. We dressed up a bit too. Mrs. N. looked fantastic as usual. Ate a so-so dinner at a new restaurant then went to the bar for drinks (and to catch football/Uconn basketball scores). Coincidentally, her sister and some friends happened by. We had a VERY nice evening out. Lots of good convo and laughs. UConn got killed (they're young and frustrating) and we bitched about brother-in-law, Big M (seems a theme lately) but had a blast. Hung out until about midnight. Didn't fall asleep right away when we got home either *wink* *wink* (que porn music, lol).

Sunday (yesterday) I slept in a bit then spent time loading music onto my phone/mp3 player and a bunch onto Mrs. Nouveau's new IPod (which I gave her for Xmas). Also, watched my beloved New York Jets lose to the Patriots in the football playoffs (to be expected). A very nice little "sit around the house" day. I even managed to drag my ass out for a run at about 5pm. Man, I so didn't feel like it but felt great afterwards.

That's about it. Just a nice, quiet weekend with no places I had to be, or things I had to do. Just the way I like it :)