Fahrenheit Jolly Rancher

Every once in a while I will go into our receptionist's desk and grab a hard candy as a midday pick-me-up. There's usually gum or hard candies or lollipops or Hershey Kisses etc. She's so good about making sure our mid-afternoon snacking/breath freshening is up to speed and I, for one, appreciate it. Anyway, today I chose a Jolly Rancher. Watermelon, specifically. People! We're being fed a bunch of crap here!

The term "watermelon" as it applies to Jolly Ranchers or just about anything else not directly a derivative of an actual watermelon is complete and utter bullshit. Absence any prior experiences with "watermelon" candies or reading a wrapper would anyone, given their first taste of one, declare "wow! that is good watermelon!"? I doubt it. I haven't googled the ingredients but I would bet a week's pay there is not even one molecule of actual watermelon in this candy. We have merely been fed the idea that this particular taste is watermelon and we don't question it. But it ain't watermelon! It doesn't taste anything remotely like a delicious watermelon wedge on a summer afternoon. Somewhere along the line, Charlie, or the Oompa Loompas, or Smurfs or whatever stumbled upon a particular flavor and said......."hmmmm.....watermelon" and its been labeled as such since which we accept. But, again, it ain't watermelon.

The same goes for their idea of "cherry", "sour apple", "lemon" "grape", "squid" or "brussel sprouts" as it applies to hard candies, lollipops, Starburst, Pixie Stix or what have you. The Man declared the flavor and we are powerless to do anything about it. Or maybe we really don't give a shit.

I wonder what else she has in there?