Could You Hurry Up Please?

Ummm.....Spring?

Yeah, hi. Its me Nouveau.

Fine thanks.

I need a favor. If you could just go ahead and, ah, hurry up and get here already, that'd be greaaaayt (impression of Lundberg from movie Office Space).

Today, I've payed my $1245 Golf Club fees for 2007 (notice I didn't say "country club" -- we have no pool or tennis courts). I've suffered, and driven through (all the way to Maine!), Winter's annual idea of a joke in the form of a March snowstorm last Friday. Ten inches! Good one! Real funny. Now its your turn Spring. Come take control, ok?

Simply put, we have too much snow on the ground and the temperatures are WAY below normal. What's up with that? Please, work with me here. Maybe a little overtime is in order.

Vegas has significantly "Jonesed" up my desire for nice weather. What with its 90 degree highs and decadent pools and beautifully green golf courses. My appetite is wetted - make that soaked - to chase that little white Titleist from tee to pond to woods to pond to bunker to grass to green and, hopefully in under three putts, to hole. Yeah, I know, but for some reason I enjoy that. Best not to question it.

Ok, if not for golf, then how about the orphaned sticks and branches all over my snowy, muddy yard that need tending to? Or the outdoor furniture that aches to sit in the sun on my deck or patio? Or my grill that must feel so neglected? Surely, there are dormant flowers abound just awaiting to liven up our party. 4 quarters vacuums at Mr. Sparkle becon to suck up the 3 inches of sand in the carpet of my grimy car. My windows and sunroof long to be open as I cruise the highways and byways singing Maroon 5 so that, unfortunately, others can hear me. Ok, then, perhaps you'll come sooner if I promise not to sing?

Yeah, yeah, I know you have an appointment to show up tomorrow. But that's a formality. That date is merely a figurehead and your presence isn't necessarily indicative of impending fine weather. Therefore, I respectfully request some outdoor warmth soon. Together let's get rid of that nasty snow cover and be gone with those piles of gray pressed up against the edges of every parking lot. Let us in unison cheer the arrival of sweeper-trucks to suck up the sand, gravel, cigarette butts, plastic bags and salt so that a clean car STAYS clean for more than a day. Let us rejoice in the sounds of Morning Doves and lawn mowers and sprinkers and outdoor voices.

And, of course, perhaps, soon, we can pretty up those golf course greens with some colorful tee markers and flags. Blue and red and green beacons of utopia in the form of eagles and birdies and pars.

So, if you could just go ahead and work a bit harder to arrive a little sooner, that'd be greaaaaayyt!

Thanks Spring. I know you won't let me down.