Noah and the Big Screen

I imagine they loaded up in pairs. The arc necessarily less than a cubit long. (I'm not sure how long a cubit even is, but since this is my tale it was shorter than a cubit - is it about a yard?)

Anyway, all the miniature versions of earth's animals with their tiny little suitcases paired up accordingly. Little giraffes and lions and dogs and hippopotamuseseseses (that's the correct plural, right?) and bees (eeek!) and mosquitoes (we need those?) and the amoebas (how the hell do you pair those?) and the penguins (not sure how transcontinental pairings occur, but there you go) and the panda bears, etc, etc. Each no doubt packed appropriately for a 40 days plus journey. Each agreeing to not eat each other, lest we're left with two big-ass lions and nothing else. Of course, the hull of the ship is loaded with a plethora of flora and fauna for food and ...... wait! Animals for food? Crap! He must need more than just pairs then, huh? Better grab a few extra mosquitoes for the bats to eat.

In any regard, preparations were completed and the mini passengers anxiously awaited their mini journey. I'm not sure how 40 days and 40 nights of rain is possible since matter isn't created nor destroyed. Perhaps we've gained significant amounts of water from the polar ice caps. Well, who knows where it came from? I sure don't but I've suspended my disbelief.

The journey, as Noah was no doubt instructed is across my finished basement atop a rippling 8 to 10 inches of water!

I got flooded!

Oh boy did I ever!

We've had a few sleet storms. When sleet melts a bit and refreezes it is hard as, well, ice! My entire yard was a less than flat ice skating rink. That in and of itself creates very little excitement. For excitement one needs, oh......3 inches of rain in 3 hours? Sure! Apparently, all that water sat on top of the ice and flowed over my foundation. I've never a water problem before and I've been in my house for nearly 6 years.

Until Friday. Problem. Big f-ing problem!

As I walked in the front door of my front-to-back split level I could smell electricity and hear my fuse box growling downstairs. It sounded like an alarm. Looking down the open six steps that lead to my basement I couldn't believe my eyes as I was looking at deep, deep water almost to the top of the first step. Without thinking to remove my dress shoes, socks or pants I dashed in to see if it went the length of the entire house. In my heart I knew it did, I just had to see it for myself. While I wouldn't qualify it anywhere near devastating, I almost cried. I understand its just "stuff" but on first view it was quite overwhelming. I can only imagine how the Katrina victims (the ones that didn't screw the government out of millions that is) must have felt with 6, 8, 10 feet plus of water.

Witness recently cleaned laundry baskets of clothes and DVDs floating about. Some dirty clothes from the laundry room floor floating by my back door. A tissue box, twice its normal size, bobbed about in the pantry. A surge protector for the computer under water (I killed the power to it once I got down there, of course). No longer able to show the red light that says, "All is well. Don't worry." All was certainly not well. My electric guitar sat defiantly on its stand even as water enveloped the lower eight inches of its body. A steamer trunk full of blankets was now full of water and wetter than wet blankets (I know you can't be wetter than wet...but these were really, really wet, trust me). The guitar amplifier and surround sound woofer sopping up the liquid. My washing machine which so bravely worked through Saturday and most of Sunday....rewashing recently washed clothes could go no further and quit. And.....my TV....*sniff* *sniff*

Fifty-five inches of high definition companionship. My friend during many insomniatic (is that a word? well, it is now!) nights. She warms me on cold days with high definition football. She accompanies me as my family sleeps with re-runs of Cheers at 3 a.m. She flickers cheerfully when I am tired, grumpy or sick. But alas, now she is sick. Very sick. The doctor will be coming tonight at 5:30. I'll know her fate at that point. I'm told all is not necessarily lost. We'll soon see. But if I have to put her down....if its the right thing....so as to alieve her suffering any further, then I'll do it. But it will be with a heavy heart.

The little one feared for her toys and our fish (THEY were in the least danger I should think). Her toys fared well. They were in a big plastic bucket that rose above the water line. The fish are elevated plenty high enough. If only my TV was.

I immediately went out and bought a pump. No ordinary pump for me. A kick-ass pump! While shopping, I didn't compare by price but by gallons per hour. This one pumps something like 4380 per hour. Tim the Toolman Taylor would have been proud. I don't dick around. As a result, I got the water down to 1 inch in about 20 minutes. Then I had to go play a poker tournament (4th of 30 tyvm!). Mrs. Blogger stayed behind and swept water towards the pump. She's cool like that.

Of course when I got back from poker at about 1 am I couldn't sleep. I fretted about costs and loss of electronics, etc. First thing Saturday morning I was at Home Depot to rent a jack hammer. I had to get the pump below grade. Plus, the plan was to install the pump after the mess was cleaned up to avoid this problem in the future. Hopefully.

Well, that jack hammer kicked ass too! With me semi-ably at the helm it went through the concrete slab in my utility room in short order and I was back to pumping and sweeping the water in no time. Then I followed up with the wet vac and finally a fully bleached out mop. By around 4 pm I had pretty much everything back in order. Mrs. Blogger was a HUGE help and even The Little One sat with the vac sucking up water.

Yesterday, I finalized installation of the sump pump and now we just await repair and/or replacement of our electronics that were affected. Luckily, my couch and chairs sat above the water line and the sheetrock didn't bulge or pucker much. Hopefully, with all the bleach and a dehumidifier on overtime we can mitigate any mold problems.

We notified insurance and are supposed to hear back today, but I think they'll deny the claim. I understand if the water is from "outside" and you don't have flood insurance, you won't be covered. I'll try anyway. Probably fight a bit with them.

Oh, Noah and the animals? They're safe and sound but really bored without a TV. I should have that problem resolved in no time.