TIPS

Acronym? T.I.P.S. = To insure proper service? I'm not sure if that's the case, but I heard it is.

Radioactive Girl was wondering what's the appropriate amount to tip casino dealers. A good question and I hadn't really thought about it. I know when players tip excessively. I also know when they don't tip. Oh, believe me I know that.

So, here's a quick rundown. I wonder how other dealers would view it.

First, the player should expect a competent and friendly dealer. I always try to have fun with my players and make it as enjoyable an experience as possible. And I'm competent. So tip me! Here's how:

Unless you're getting absolutely killed, you should tip $5 per hour played. That's not at all unreasonable considering I deal mainly at $15 to $25 per hand tables. That translates into $825 to $1375 per hour gambled by each player assuming the blackjack standard of 55 hands per hour. Having said that, one could play as many as 100 to 220 hands per hour at a quick table with only a couple players. However, $5, even if the table is half full, will gross at least $15 per hour for the dealer and that's close to what we need to make for a living when one considers the following.

Again, as long as you're not getting killed, if you play $15 or $25 at the table you will get an the extra $2.50 chip for each blackjack. You should tip that, either as a bet for the dealer or a handout. Blackjack pays 3 to 2 so $15 gets $22.50 and $25 gets $37.50. Throw the dealer the $2.50 chip (or at least bet it for him) unless you're just getting buried that day. Again, you're rewarding him for giving you bonus hands (even though he has no control). If you're getting tons of blackjacks, tip him every other one then. Its all good.

Now I'm making close to a decent living, right?

Next, if you've made money at the end of your session (time to leave, end of gambling day, time for dinner or show), when you color up (change your chips to higher amounts), you should tip about 1%. $1 for every $100. Its not much and most players do not actually end up leaving with many chips (casinos are huge and gaudy for a reason). I think that's fair, doesn't kill the player usually and adds up for the dealer's nicely.

Now for novelty games, of which most have bonus bets that can pay quite a bit more than blackjack, one should also tip the $5 per hour played (it doesn't matter when - either as a bet every so often, or a handed tip, or the end of your session), plus for bonus payouts I think $5 for $50 to $100 payout, $10 for $200 to $1000 (again, roughly -- depends on how the night is going) and $25+ for over a $1000 depending on the payout. The guy that tipped me $500 for $4000 was being excessive. The guy that tipped me $25 for about $4000 I thought was kind of cheap (or naive).

When I'm a player I feel generosity pays back in karma. And I have a history of doing okay at the casino.

So, if every player tipped or bet those small increments for the dealers, we'd make out pretty well. Unfortunately, in my experience 80% of my tips come from 25% of my players.

OMG!

I did it and the results were not great although the pay rate would be quite good! Now I dare you to do it and post the results. Take the "value in bed" quiz posted to the left here.

Casino Tales

Good title? Casino Tales?

Except I don't really have any.

I really thought working at the Casino for 16 hours a weekend would get me some good blog fodder. But it really hasn't.

Its a drag to get there. I miss looking forward to my weekends knowing I have to work Friday night into Saturday morning and then Saturday night starting it over again. Having said that, once I'm there its fine. The time totally flies by and I really love that direct deposit on Fridays.

My most obnoxious player so far, believe it or not, has been a drunk lady of about 70, who when learning I had to put some new cards into play (which takes a couple minutes to inspect, wash and riffle) asked why I can't just "deal the fucking cards". Took me by surprise. I thought she was just being funny at first, but she wasn't. From then on I silently rooted for her to lose, just as I do other people I think are obnoxious or a pain.

Last weekend I had a drunk guy of about 30 who didn't understand how to play BlackJack but was funny and not offensive despite the fact he referred to the older Asian woman sitting next to her as Feng Shui and high-fiving her three or more times.

The night before that was sort of slow. I had a bunch of players who just stared at the felt indicating hit or stand but showing no emotion. At one point I'm thinking, "Lady. I just dealt you two Blackjacks, its really okay to smile." I'm sure you've guessed that table didn't tip for shit either.

A few weeks ago I paid a guy $4000 on a bonus hand win and he tipped me $500! That was nice. We pool our tips, but it was still nice nonetheless.

I'm into the rhythm of the place and most of my floor supervisors have been pretty cool.

Upon reflection, I'm thinking perhaps its a good thing I don't have too many stories then. It might be that that makes my nights all that much tougher.

Good Times

Had a blast last night with Mrs. Blogger. We had a nice lunch then got to Boston early enough to do some shopping (spent a fortune), pop in a few bars until we eventually ended up at the Cask 'N Flagon wherein we proceeded to drink quite a few beers (Mrs. B was a riot), laugh with some other patrons, learn she really wants another baby (wait! what?) before witnessing the Sox make a nice comeback and end up victorious on what ended as a rather chilly night!

Needless to say, I'm tired this morning but we had so much fun it's well worth it. Can't wait to get up there again.

Yay!

Me.

Here.

Tonight.

YES!!!

What Typo Grammar We Talking About?

Sometimes I'll re-read an older blog of mine, particularly if my hits counter shows a hit from one. Of course, I notice typos and grammar issues.

I've just noticed the one below I have a "their" in place of a "they're". Believe it or not, I do know the difference and when I read others that make the same error it bugs me a little.

I think its a matter of rushing through the typing and then when I edit not really "seeing" it, per se. But! Once that post is over and its been commented on, I don't go back and fix anything. Never. I leave them all "as is".

I'm not sure why I won't but I think its because every post can be re-edited in some way and I don't want to fall into that trap.

So, please forgive my blogging indiscretions but I'm not as dopey as they may come across at times.

UPDATED 12 MINUTES LATER: Ok, this is kind of weird. I said I don't edit my post and here I am updating it. Then its a blog partially about grammar. So I was cruising blogs after posting and noticed at Atomic Zebra's he had a rating for his blog so I checked out the link and I rated junior high school level.

I guess that's good.

Quick Stop Movie Reviews

In my not-so-tons-of-free-time I've been squeezing in some movies. Although I don't care to review movies here any longer I've seen a couple recently that I think are excellent. Juno and The Kite Runner.

The Kite Runner is about some Afghan guys and their families and really shows how people are people. No matter where their from. Its touching and sad and extremely well done.

Juno is smart and funny and touching and sweet as well. From Juno:

Receptionist at Women's clinic: Would you like a free condom? They're boysenberry.
Juno MacGuff: No, thanks. I'm off sex right now.
Receptionist: My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse, it makes his junk smell like pie.

And later in the movie:

Juno MacGuff: ...and the receptionist tried to get me to take these condoms that looked like grape suckers and was just babbling away about her freaking boyfriends pie balls! Oh an Su-Chin was there and she was like, "Hi babies have fingernails." Fingernails!
Leah: Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?

I'm in a silly mood today and that movie still has me laughing.

See it. Its short (96 mins) and sweet and you'll enjoy it. The former is more deep, but excellently done and worth the roughly two hours for sure.

Yardwork and Such

Its been sooooo beautiful outside in Connecticut the past couple days. I'm talking mid-70's so Spring Fever is in full bloom. Last night when I got home from work, I decided to get a bunch of yard cleanup and trimming and stuff done.

I've noticed that when I'm done with that particular chore I feel so good about it. Almost to the point where I can't wait to do more.

However, when it comes time to do more, I'm hit with a case of the "lazies". Usually, it just comes down to actually starting the task.

I occurred to me that perhaps that particular feeling could be the polar opposite of the hungover feeling and the declaration "I will never drink again". Normally one does though.

Regarding the yardwork, I will declare "Every night if its nice out, I want to get a little something done to make the place look better". But then, when it comes down to it, I don't.

What's Happening to Me?

I remember the dizziness. It came about in a matter of seconds. One moment I was standing in my kitchen recuperating from an exhausting leg workout at the gym, the next I was clutching the counter-top for balance as I fell one knee on the area rug fronting the sink.

My wife and child didn't know what to make of this. They witnessed their never sick man of the house fall to all fours and vomit uncontrollaby. I simply couldn't summon enough energy to get my head above the edge of the sink and throw up in there where it could at least be washed away easily. Instead, plans for a new rug were in the works. But what was happening?

I vomited again and again and again. Sweat formed on my brow, my gut cramped and my throat burned even as my body attempted to evacuate a now empty stomach.

After a few minutes, I gathered up enough energy to get to the bathroom. Nothing more was to come out however so I commenced to brushing my teeth so I could lie down until this incredible, horrible feeling was over.

What happened? How could this come about when moments earlier I merely felt a bit bleh? I went from zero to 100 in like 90 minutes. What possibly could have.......................

The fucking Taco Salad from Taco Bell! It had to be the Taco Salad. I stopped at Taco Bell on the way home from the gym!

I missed work the next day. Something I've done (for illness) maybe 3 times in almost 20 years. I didn't eat or do anything but sleep and drink water the whole next day. By nightfall I felt much better.

This was March, 2006. I haven't been back there for a meal since.

Until........today. I had lunch at Taco Hell. Keep me in your thoughts!

Money, money, money, maaaaaaaoney, MONEY!

I completely forgot that I have a CitiBank Driver's Edge credit card. Pursuant to its benefits, I get cash back every time I buy a car. Well, as you all know, I bought a car! $703 will soon be mine! MINE I say! Mwa---Hahahahahahahahhahaha!!!

Plus, since I'm in such a money-grubbing mood, I'm cashing out my Paypal account. I've just let it linger there since I E-Bayed a few things a year ago. But no more! $38.08....come to Papa!!!

Lastly, there's that Economic Stimulus Payment on its way. $1500 for me (us). No more Kraft Mac & Cheese for us, baby! Its Dinty Moore beef stew time!!

I think its silly that the government is sending out rebate checks during a time of war and such a high federal deficit. But if you're wondering when you'll get your chunk, look below. Glad I "direct deposited" my refund. I'll see it May 9 (can you guess my ss #?). If I paper checked it I'd have to wait until June 27. Damn!

IRS Timetable for Rebate Payments

Here’s the government’s plan for making the economic stimulus payments for taxpayers whose 2007 returns are filed and processed by April 15:

DIRECT DEPOSIT PAYMENTS
If the last two digits of your Social Security number are:	Your rebate should be sent to your bank account by:
00 - 20	May 2
21 - 75	May 9
76 - 99	May 16
PAPER CHECK
If the last two digits of your Social Security number are:	Your check should be in the mail by:
00 - 09	May 16
10 - 18	May 23
19 - 25	May 30
26 - 38	June 6
39 - 51	June 13
52 - 63	June 20
64 - 75	June 27
76 - 87	July 4
88 - 99	July 11

Oh Grow Up!

o the car I bought is a "young person's" car. Its inexpensive enough that 20-something's can afford it and cool/quick enough that enthusiasts are attracted to it. Also, its easily customizable so those that are into that sect (I'm not) can get their thrill that way.

Me? I just liked the looks when I saw it the first time. After researching it I found the perfect blend of performance, reliability and gas mileage that I thought fit me at the time. And still think so.

Also, in my research I found numerous threads dedicated to extolling its virtues and more than a few wherein "rival" car owners proclaimed where their car was the best car ever and mine was a piece of shit. And vice versa.

One of the cars mentioned time and again was the Volkswagen GTI. It seems a nice enough car but I found the reliability history of that brand wasn't up to snuff with Honda's. And again, I liked how my car looked better. No offense. The VW just wasn't for me.

While on the highway last night, a silver GTI came speeding up from behind passed me slightly and then slowed to my pace (about 75mph). I can only imagine he was sizing me up? I couldn't see though as his windows were tinted.

He hung by my side for a few minutes and while I didn't completely ignore him I wasn't staring at him either.

Then he revved forward of me and slowed back to my pace before lingering a second and taking off at perhaps 90 plus miles per hour.

I'm a 41 year old father, husband and homeowner. Does he really think I'm looking to race him down the highway in some macho, testosterone-driven quest to prove who's tougher based on the car they purchased?

I don't know, but that just seems ridiculous. I like to think I'm a little more mature than that. I let him have his "victory" and watched as he drove out of my sight. What a tool!

Plus. He barely saw me coming when I zipped by him on that curve 10 miles later!

Take that Mr. VW GTI!

Two Old Ladies Walk Into a Restaurant....

I was in Wendy's enjoying how well I'm sticking to my diet (NOT!) and reading the manual for my new car because I HAVE to know everything there is to know about cool stuff I buy (stereos, TVs, cell phones, cars).

There were two incredibly cute elderly women at the table next to me. One leaned over and asked if I had bought a new car. Of course I said yes and told them what kind in answer to their next question. They were very happy for me and very sweet in their congratulations.

The one that asked me turned to the other and remarked, "See? That's why young people know so much about things. Because they read."

As if being young was a prerequisite for reading manuals and learning how things work.

The second sweet old lady leaned over and told me, "My husband died 2 years ago right after we bought a new car. I just figured out that the button on the key unlocks the door!!! I've been putting the key in and turning it."

Not sure one need the manual to explain that, but they were just so adorable I just had to smile.

Guilty Conscious

Now I feel guilty about fooling Radioactive Girl yesterday. She's so nice she was trying to think if there was anything she could do. Sorry R-girl, I simply couldn't resist!

What I didn't let on was that as I was posting I texted my wife that I dented my car as well. She then told all the ladies in her office before being able to call me back and they all collectively "awwwwww, no'd" the whole ordeal.

Then she called me, in the middle of her horrible and busy day, to specifically extend her condolences and I said "April Fools". So I feel badly about that as well, plus her staff hates me too!

Is it right to fool two very compassionate and trusting people? No. But I'm still laughing about it and no harm was done, right?

I wonder who will remember next year.

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

Sorry for my bad language, but at Dunkin' Donuts this morning, getting my coffee in my new and sporty car (the one with a few blindspots I'm not quite used to) I backed into a wooden retaining wall thingy that holds their stupid Dunkin' Donuts sign!!!

The damage isn't horrible, but I already need body work on it???? WHAT AN IDIOT!!!