Global Warming My Ass!

Remember all the hoopla about Global Warming? Remember earlier this month I was saying I had been golfing? Fuggedabouit!!

I arose to the windows shaking from a vicious gale. A peek at the outdoor thermometer revealed 0.8 F (that right! zero point 8 degrees -- good thing for the "point 8"). With wind! Maybe 25 miles per hour. They've even closed or delayed some schools so the kids don't have to stand out waiting on a bus (I sure don't remember "cold days" when I was a kid). Anyway, I looked up the windchill scale and I may have misread the grid but I think it said minus 272 Kelvin which would make it feel about 1 degree higher than absolute zero, or the point at which everything, even at the molecular level, is frozen! Again, good thing for that point 8.

Oh, and the sonic boom you heard this morning? It was was created by the speed at which my nuts receded into by body cavity upon stepping outside. Brrrrrr..........