Medium

When did 196 oz. become medium? Check out my CSI-inspired measuring device next to this Wendy's "medium" soda cup (they never photograph without something to scale it right? fine point Sharpy pen should do). I'm guessing the pen is about the size of a normal can. Sheesh!

Six pees, one bloated belly and three hours later and I'm only half done Dammit, I'm going to finish it! I know I can. Of course, if it was beer (and I wasn't at work) I'd be on my 4th by now, but its friggin' soda! Who needs this much soda?

When I was a kid, Big Gulp's were popular at 7-11. Remember those? They seemed huge! I think they were 24 oz. But now 7-11 have like 11 sizes to choose from, starting at about 44 oz, so apparently Wendy's feels they need to be competitive.

Then the treadmill-challenged woman at Wendy's hands it to me (with my salad, lmao) and didn't get my smart-allecky "this is medium?" comment. She answers "uh, yeah?" like everyone needs the Chinese water torture with their midday lunch. As a nation, we're all about bigger is better aren't we? Super-size fries? Sure, why not. I can always go for a 1/2 acre of deep fried potatoes? Quadruple Burger? You betcha - can you leave the hide on it too? I heard that's where the nutrients are? GMAC Hummer? Absolutely! Gas will surely go down soon anyway. But, its soda! How much do I need? Perhaps if I was at the Wendy's on the edge of the Gobi desert and I just hoofed in from the last mirage, this would be appropriate. But damn! Medium? There are two sizes bigger than this too. Large; which I would think is about the size of a milking bucket. And Super-Size; which must be the size of those plastic buckets with white rope handles that hold ice and a 1/2 barrel keg of Milwaukee's Best Light.

Good thing I got Diet Coke with ice (which is long gone). I can imagine if it was "regular" Coke (23,356 calories) I'd have to run to Boston and back to burn off all those empty calories. How about a a Mountain Dew? With that bankroll of energy and all the caffeine I'd could pogo-stick to Boston and back (those allowed in the H.O.V. lanes?).

That might make me thirsty though. Hmmmm......How about another tub-o-Coke?